I end this show season feeling overwhelmed by the kindness, warmth and love of strangers and friends I have made over the years at art shows. Not growing up in a household that bought original art makes me hyper conscious that the act of purchasing one of my paintings is special. I am not sure how many of my neighbors or people related to me buy original art. My immediate family doesn't really take any interest in my career, other than noting my financial success. This past weekend a client told me a term that you all have made me feel. Validated. I wish people close to me could make me feel that way, I wish society at large valued art as much as they do status or money or convenience. I wish I wish I wish. But really I can stop all that wishing. I don't have to talk about how much everything sucks, because we are all going through it together and somehow it seems my voice says more than I realized. My investment in my feelings for my loved ones, for beauty, and for dignity says enough. I am not a great painter. There are plenty of people as good as I am. What makes me different is that people find sincerity, emotion, kindness, love, the sublime, tenderness, authenticity, etc. in my work. I am always chasing some deep arresting feeling that seems to find its way into my life on a daily basis, and this pursuit I have come to realize is unusual. In our world we just value other things, maybe we have always done that, but right now dignity, beauty and community are lacking. Thank you all for seeing something positive in me. For pushing me to be a better version of myself. For making me feel appreciated and a part of your community.
So I don't know what comes next. I want to do Old Town next year. I will be at Charlevoix otherwise Mary Beth the show director will kill me. We will have a show at the farm. Maybe I do Louisville or maybe Plaza, but even that might be too much. I know I want to do what is right for my childhood home, even if that means taking 6 months off, I owe that to my Mom and her parents, and the neighborhood I grew up in. I know I want to paint most of the summer without traveling to a show. I want to be better. I want to improve and can improve. I had one day off this year, I don't want to be that guy anymore, it can not be fun to be married to that. I want to have more fun. Screw around and not worry about screwing up. I want to do a show and not be so exhausted, I probably have pushed myself to the limit for too many years which has lead to some harsh realities physically and mentally. I can't do that anymore. I just need some time to chill out and do what lies in my heart.
It will be very difficult for me to take a step back. You all validate me. You are my community. This last time I did Plaza, I finally felt I had worked my way into the KC community by all the great conversations and support I had. And at every place I have shown regularly in the last few years I have felt that. It is an honor. Most people can't get into a show over and over again, or their work doesn't vibe with that community. So many of you are my friends and I just enjoy seeing and talking with you.
I could charge more for my paintings, clearly I can't keep up. I could be represented by a fancy gallery on the coast. I could try and get into prestigious shows and make sure my paintings go for a shit ton of money when they come up for auction. But clearly that is not me. I just like being part of the community best. Thank you all. We'll see what happens...
PS: I promise I will post more paintings on my available works page
